I’ve had a big realisation lately, and I think it’s something that many people can relate to. It’s about the difference between the idea of it and the act of doing it. Having watched a lot of movies, 688 to be exact, according to my Letterboxd as of writing this article, I have understood that these two concepts are worlds apart.

Take love, for instance. The idea of love is beautiful, isn’t it? It’s romantic, magical, and something everyone dreams of, or at least is conditioned to want. It’s the classic story we see in movies, where everything works out, the music swells, and you live happily ever after. But if you’re someone living in the real world, someone who’s actually tried dating, who’s ventured into the messiness of human relationships, you quickly realise that love is nothing like it’s portrayed on screen. The idea of love is alluring, but the act of doing it, going out there, making yourself vulnerable, putting in the effort to connect; well, that’s a whole different beast. It’s not as shiny, not as neat as the movies make it seem.

One can say the same about death. The idea of death, especially in moments of overwhelm, can seem like an escape, a way out of the pain, the exhaustion, and the confusion. It’s tempting, almost seductive. But the act of it? That’s an entirely different story. The logistics of such a thing are difficult. It’s easy to romanticise the idea of it, to think of it as a solution. But the act of doing it, making it happen, suddenly becomes this messy, complicated, almost impossible task.

Maybe that’s why we are seeing more and more people being so comfortable with themselves, choosing to isolate and settle into the idea rather than face the struggle of actually living it. The idea offers comfort; it’s safe, it’s clean, it doesn’t require us to step outside of our boundaries or confront the messiness of reality. Living it, though, demands vulnerability, effort, and a willingness to face the discomfort. It’s easier to stick to the fantasy, to stay in the realm of possibility where everything is neatly packaged, than to step into the chaos of actually experiencing it.