If you’ve been reading this blog for even a little while, you probably know that I suffer from anxiety. I mean, it’s literally in the name. Anyway, it’s not just anxiety—I’ve got the kind that not only makes you not want to eat anything but also makes you want to throw up everything you’ve eaten already. I also have severe OCD, which causes my depression and anxiety, for which I’ve been on medication for over a year now. I thought it would get better, and it is getting better, but it’s still a long way to go.

That’s the tricky part, though—what does getting better even mean? Probably happy, right? But here’s the thing: it’s not like I’m not happy. I am, sometimes. But that’s the thing with anxiety and depression—you can be happy, but your mind’s thinking something else, and your body’s just over there doing its own thing. It’s hard to get my mind and body on the same page. I can convince my mind sometimes, but the body? It’s like it has its own agenda. And that makes me wonder, what’s wrong with me? I’m in a happy situation, but my body keeps telling me otherwise. I think that’s something a lot of people with anxiety and depression can relate to, and I’m not the odd one out here.

For example, I went to a screening of the movie Materialists directed by Celine Song in Delhi on June 12th, 2025. Great movie. I genuinely had a good time at the screening. But my body? That’s a different story. My Apple Watch gave me heart rate alerts four times during the movie, and when I looked at the data, I was stressed for a significant part of the day. Makes me feel like there’s a whole different battle going on inside me than I originally thought. I used to think the goal was to get me and the world on the same page. Now? I think the goal is a lot smaller. I just need to get my mind and body on the same page.

If you or someone you know is struggling with similar challenges, there are resources available to provide support and treatment. Reach out to mental health professionals, therapists, or counsellors who can offer guidance and help you navigate the path to recovery.