It’s that time of year when people cosy up at home and rewatch classics like When Harry Met Sally. I love the movie—it’s a pop culture staple that’s inspired so many other films, TV shows, and will-they-won’t-they friendships. But there’s one idea it pushes that I’ve never fully agreed with: Men and women can’t be friends. This line has been repeated so often, it’s practically a law in the rom-com rulebook. But is there any truth to it? Or is it just a sneaky way for people to avoid the dreaded friend zone?

Honestly, it’s probably both. Sure, the idea that men and women can’t be friends can be a clever way to dodge the humiliation of being friend zoned while pretending it’s a universal truth instead of a personal L. But I also think it’s mostly nonsense. Let’s be real—not everyone is walking around ready to fall in love with everyone else. This planet is packed with people, probably more than necessary, and the odds that every man-woman friendship is secretly romantic? Not buying it. I’m no mathematician, but I’d bet the numbers aren’t in favour of that logic either.

Speaking from personal experience, some of my closest and most honest friendships have been with women. These are people I can have deep conversations with, share my weirdest thoughts with, and feel genuinely understood by. And I am pretty sure I’m not the only one. Yes, if you’re obviously attracted to someone, it might be harder to stay just friends. But that’s not every friendship. Not every encounter with the opposite gender is a love story in the making.

So, how did this idea get so big? Part of it is how pop culture frames relationships. Movies, TV shows, and books love to glorify romantic love as the ultimate goal, while friendships are treated like side quests. The best friend is either the comic relief or the unrequited lover. Rarely do we see stories that highlight platonic love as something equally essential. Romantic relationships are great, but they’re not life’s only source of meaning.

Thankfully, things are shifting. Movies like HBO’s Sweethearts and a recent episode of the Modern Love podcast are finally giving friendship its deserved place. They remind us that friendship isn’t some consolation prize for when romance doesn’t work out. It’s its own main character in the story of life. So, do I think men and women can be friends? Absolutely. Maybe not in every case, but as a blanket statement, it just doesn’t hold up. Platonic relationships matter. They’re not Plan B. They’re Plan A, B, and sometimes maybe even C.