As I’m typing this, it’s 1 AM in Indian Standard Time (IST), a time when most folks are fast asleep, but I’m wide awake. I have a weird relationship with sleep and the nighttime. My current sleep schedule is rather unconventional; I find myself drifting off around 7 in the morning and rising in the afternoon. It’s not that I can’t sleep at night; I can, but even when I manage to clock in a solid 8 or 9 hours, I still wake up feeling like someone forgot to flip the on switch during the day. However, as the night descends, and that switch is finally turned on, I transform into a more vibrant, positive version of myself. Initially, I attributed this daytime lethargy to poor sleep quality or bad habits. I monitored my sleep patterns with my trusty Apple Watch, abstained from caffeine before bedtime, and even tried following a more conventional sleep schedule. Yet, nothing seemed to work. My sleep cycle was, for all intents and purposes, normal.

Besides not feeling like myself during the day, there’s a significant love for the night within me. It’s a time of profound peace; the world sleeps, and I’m free. There’s a sense of liberation that’s hard to explain. I’m also more productive and creative at night. My best ideas find their way to the surface during these dark hours. In short, I’m what some might call a night person.

My journey toward understanding my unusual relationship with sleep led me to a Modern Love episode titled The Night Girl Finds a Day Boy. The episode revolves around a woman suffering from delayed sleep phase syndrome (DSPS) who falls in love with a man. They face challenges because their daily routines are so different. This piqued my interest, and I started researching DSPS. I discovered that it’s a disorder where your internal body clock doesn’t match the usual sleep-wake times. The symptoms include trouble falling asleep, difficulty waking up, excessive daytime sleepiness, and even mood problems, which seemed to mirror my experiences.

While I’ve yet to receive an official diagnosis, I highly suspect that DSPS is the underlying cause of my unusual nighttime tendencies. Of course, there’s always that nagging possibility that I’m just a tad too lazy, but let’s keep that notion in the maybe bag. In the end, I find myself on a curious journey, embracing the night, seeking answers, and relishing the mysterious beauty of those quiet hours when most people are lost in their dreams.